Table Distressed

I dont know what to do with this wooden box?

I have this wooded box that's distressed red with handles built in, what could I use it for? It's kind of small so it could sit on a end table or counter

Hang it up and use it for a spice rack.

Occasionally in the place of work or in our personal business we find ourselves in situations where the behaviour of another person is such that it creates discord around them. For example the person may be oblivious that they have body odour. Or they have irritating habits such as humming or drumming their fingers relentlessly. They appear unaware of the effect that they are having on other people.

When it is something embarrassing or seemingly trivial people are not sure how to deal with it. The person concerned does not recognise the downbeat situation they are creating. They seem unable to pick up hints from others that they are becoming a nuisance.

This is what to do.

Whether you are a supervisor, a colleague or friend it is always a good idea to make an appointment with the person concerned to have a discussion about the matter in hand. The person will genuinely want to know what it is all about. At this stage tell them it is nothing to worry about. That simple phrase will concentrate their mind so that when you see them 24 hours later they will have your complete attention.

When you have settled down to the meeting state your ambivalence about the matter you want to discuss. If you don't tell them about your ambivalence your body language will, so you might as well get it out on the table.

State your belief that he or she does not know they are doing it, or the effects it has on you or others. This is particularly essential if you are a supervisor.

Again lay emphasis on your ambivalence concerning whether or not you should tell them. By this time they will be practically demanding that you explain what it is. Then in a matter of fact way tell them the behaviour (or whatever) that is creating the quandary and the effect it is having on you (and others).

At this point the person is likely to say with some disbelief and shock, "What do you mean?" You then repeat again in a matter-of-fact way what you said before. You may have to do this a number of times.

Often, if it is something embarrassing, like body odour, the person will put his or her head in their hands and be very distressed. In time they may well want to know why nobody told them before. The longer negative behaviour is allowed to carry on without action being taken the more likely the person doing it will seek to blame others for not saying something.

At this point go into problem solving mode and offer assistance. You may agree secret signals when certain behaviour manifests itself, or offer positive advice. Seek not to be judgmental. You are there to solve a problem.

Word of caution; make sure that you are the right person to be telling the individual concerned regarding the negative behaviour. If you are too senior in the organization you may be inappropriate. Sometimes a colleague or friend is preferable. Not many people like confronting negative situations, but the sooner it is faced the easier it becomes.

Vic Botterill is a professional speaker with a background in law enforcement. For more information refer to e-book "If only I'd said" which can be found at www.vicbotterilltalks.co.uk . It also features in a talk by Vic Botterill of the same name. Details at www.afterdinnerspeaker.co.uk

Distressed Wood Dining Table

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